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All of a sudden my heart sings

July 31, 2011

…when I remember little things…

Song lyrics, from long ago.

Today I found your comment about “It’s no big deal.” I can’t believe you have gone almost two months without mentioning to me that you commented on our blog. That is so you. Of course, my being remiss at visiting the blog is a discussion that is sure to come shortly. In the meantime, I am very happy that you are teaching Kenzie that it’s no big deal.

We have survived the past few months. I really wondered if I would, and truly, if I cared to. How is it that you manage to pull out of me—every time—one more reason to forestall the cleaning of the basement. Leave that to Jenny; I agree. You are so funny. I will never forget you saying,

“Don’t die yet. I don’t want to clean the basement.”

I am truly sorry about your recent feelings/visions. I know how difficult those can be, and promise to hold on to you for as long as they continue. I also promise to send as few psychic daggers as possible. I won’t pretend that this is not incredibly special and that as much as I detest your having to experience it, I love that our closeness has led us here. Sorry about the phantom toothache. I really, really, wouldn’t have sent that on if I had any control at all. Hehe.

I wrote to Aunt Cindy. GASP – don’t gasp. It’s okay, and so is she. Our communication is below, to be saved in this archive for the future.

From me:

I am catching up on neglected correspondence today and wanted to pass on to you some words from Tori. She told me that she was grateful to you for treating her as a “person” when she visited with you. I am biased, but I believe that she sees things more clearly than most her age.

She told me that you asked her about her life and school, and when it was time to go, you said to her, “It was nice to meet you.”

Words can mean very little at times, and sometimes they can mean everything. Tori was grateful because in her mind, you took time to understand that you and she were not acquainted by some distant memory of having seen her as an infant or in photographs. You took time to become acquainted with her as a young lady of value, and she valued your understanding.

I value your understanding on her behalf. Thank you.

From Cindy:

Hi Jan, Thanks for the kind words. I very much enjoyed meeting Tori and seeing you.

And lookie there – nothing crashed or blew up. We simply communicated.

I do so love positive things.

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