LoveOctober 14, 2011
Such a tiny word is love, but concentrated within those four letters is more power than the sun.
Varying perceptions of love can be responsible for the highest and best within us, as well as for the lowest and worst depravity we can ever experience. It can lift us up or leave us in a bleeding puddle on the floor. It can calm us and bolster us, or tear us apart until we feel as though the last vestiges of our soul have wisped away on a dark cloud.
I don’t believe unconditional love can exist. I believe that all love is conditional and consequences are what cause it to grow and remain strong. Even a mother’s love of a child—the closest thing to unconditional love—has conditions. The first condition is based on time. An infant receives love without conditions until such time as they learn to understand respect. It’s an early and basic lesson. The second condition is based on actions. A child whose life becomes that of a habitual criminal or murderer gives up their claim to their mother’s love, and that of anyone else. They have not respected life and others, and respect—and love—can be withheld from them. And love is never a right.
Remember when we talked about learning, and that early life and schooling build the foundation upon which we build the rest of our knowledge? Without a solid foundation, our knowledge is shaky and incomplete. Though we continue to learn, it’s difficult to retain knowledge if we do not have a solid foundation on which to place it, experiences to which to reference it.
Respect is the primary condition of love. Giving and receiving of respect are the foundation of any relationship. Without respect, love has no foundation and simply cannot grow. There is no difference between love and true love. We love or we don’t. We respect or we don’t.
When love hurts, it’s time to evaluate whether it is love at all. It’s possible that it is simply a bad habit.