Simple religion

April 22, 2012

New siblings are not always welcome in the lives of the youngest of a growing family. When I was born, Chuckie was less than amused and would take my food—especially bananas; Grandma Beanie said he could smell them. When she opened a jar of baby food he would come running, even when he had been sleeping. He threw my baby bottles into the bathtub. He didn’t want for me to eat.

We managed to get along sometimes, though, and once when I was two and he was three, Grandma Beanie watched us as we watched television. I was, like Jenny, articulate at an early age, and very curious. Grandma Beanie called me Sassbox. As we watched our cartoons, a Crest toothpaste commercial was broadcast and I asked Chuckie (the three-year-old authority on such matters),

“Chuckie, do God use Crest toothpaste?”

“Noooo,” Chuckie said.

“Do He brush He teef?” I asked.

Chuckie said, “Noooo, He just,” at which point Chuckie dropped his chin to his chest and raised both arms to shoulder height, emulating Christ on the cross.

“Oh,” I said, returning my attention to the television and cartoons.

Religion is simple for toddlers. Like Jesus, it seems that Crest toothpaste was a simple fact of life, too.


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